*Editor’s Note: I wrote this post a few months ago, right after Heather left. I thought I should wait until I had more to say, but I think it makes as much sense now as it ever will.
I know this feeling. It’s plagued me before. Last summer, on my last day in Croatia, I was feeling down. I had just endured a horrible goodbye from Tommy the night before and now everyone at my hostel who I even slightly recognized was leaving too. First the Canadian girls, Sarah and Whitney, then Donnie. It was the first time on the entire trip I had truly felt lonely.
All my new travel friends had left me.
A few weeks ago, Adam, Hannah, Kelly, Tommy and myself met up to say farewell to our American comrade Heather. We dined on Chat Thai in Haymarket (so worth the wait, in case you were wondering) and pretended like it wasn’t our last meal with her.
She was the first friend I made here in Sydney, walking me home to Petersham after my very first Travel Tribe [Massive]. I immediately related to Heather when her slight Southern accent spoke Aussie slang terms. She pointed out all the best cafes in her neighborhood of Petersham (yes, Big Brekky). She’s now back in Virginia, where I’m sure I will see her one day in the near future.
The next travel casualty was Michelle, my Swedish friend from work who left to go up the coast before returning home. She was my first friend at work, since she started the week before, but she was already a pro. Even though she’s a few years younger than me, this seasoned backpacker has been gone for months, visiting the US and New Zealand before Australia and offering tips of where to go.
Next was Jana, the bubbly German girl who started working with us a bit over a month ago. She got creeped on by customers constantly, but she was always laughing about something. I hung out with her after work a few times and she’s as much of a blast in real life as in work life. To celebrate her farewell, a few of us girls from work went out in Darling Harbour.
There was a moment in the cab on the way there, wine bottles wrapped in brown paper in hand, when we were all speaking different languages. Jana and Flo were chatting in German and Aylin was on the phone speaking Turkish. I think that’s my favorite part about living here. Jana will be traveling the west coast and then the east coast, so I will hopefully meet up with her again!
It’s probably the hardest part about traveling: the lack of permanency in your relationships. It may seem like that bunkmate in your hostel dorm room and you will be best friends forever, but when your itineraries change, you may be split up. So I haven’t lost all of my friends here, since many are here on more permanent visas than I, but it’s always sad to lose a few.
You say you’ll keep in touch through Facebook and Skype, but it’s never the same as getting to hang out with them in real life. But Sydney is a sort of transient place like that. With many of us on working holiday visas, our time is limited. It reminds me of Charleston in that way, which many of my friends have called “Neverland” because it’s so hard to grow up when you’re there. It’s a happy place, full of bars and beaches, but some of us can’t stay forever. Most are limited to four years before getting spit back into the “real world.”
I’m not sure what Sydney will mean to me. Will it become a place of new friends, constantly leaving and arriving? Or will I be the one who has to go? I have no idea at this point. Maybe because I don’t have a set group of friends here like I do at home, having a few leave is hitting me harder.
Related Reading:
- “Finding Where You Belong Overseas,” GO Overseas by Lauren Fritsky
- “Sydney: A City of Goodbyes,” Hannah DeMilta
Christine Amorose says
Can definitely relate…I met some amazing people in Melbourne while I was working in hospitality, but they’ve all moved on! Now that I’m in a “real job” it’s hard to make friends who aren’t about to leave! I have made some amazing friends in short times–like the girl who I’m still super good friends with in Australia who I met in Munich over just a few days–and some of my best friends who I was really only with for a month in Nice. It’s definitely not the easiest, but it all adds to the experience!
Heather says
You are so incredibly sweet! With starting a new contract gig and working at a couple of other places PT, I’ve been on the go constantly the last few days, falling way behind in reading new posts of the blogs and friends I follow closely.
I met you and started developing a couple of other new friendships *just* as I was wrapping up my time in Sydney before the road trip. Missing people was a HUGE contributor to the difficulty I’ve had readjusting to home. My friends here are even more dispersed than ever, and there weren’t many friends to come home to. If I could pack my bags and be back in Sydney by week’s end, I’d do it. I want to spend more time with the people I met and had a connection with!
Already looking forward to seeing you when it’s your turn to revisit the US — the slight southern accent and Aussie slang is still here O:-)
Adam @ SitDownDisco says
Yeah, it’s thing that concerns me most about life… transient relationships. I had a great time that night at Chat Thai. I want every Friday night to be like that. Hopefully you can meet a more permanent bunch of people in Sydney as time goes by and meet up more often and without the fear of them disappearing.
carolineinthecityblog says
Yeah I really enjoyed that night, sharing food and conversation. I miss everyone!