The TSA Has Seen Me Naked

I was eyeing all of the security lines, scouting out the shortest. “Right this way, This is the shortest line,” the blue-clad TSA employee told me. Score, I thought to myself. As I walked down the long corridor, my overwhelming sense of dread alerted me to why: I had inadvertently entered the line for full body scans.

I scrambled to see if I could go back and switch lines, but at that point it was too late. “Put your feet on the yellow lines and place your hands above your head,” the female TSA agent alerted me. I felt wronged, as if I didn’t have time to ask for a pat down. It’s a bit like having your ass grabbed my a complete stranger. You’re so shocked that you don’t yell at them or break their arm. It was over quickly.

Another male TSA agent stood next to the female, so I wondered if he had looked. She told me she needed to pat down the area near my bra and upper legs. “Do you want a private room?” she asked. “No, it’s fine.”

It made the situation feel slightly less sketchy. She felt something in my jeans and asked what it was. It was some crumpled bills my dad had just given me. “I need to inspect these.” For a second, I thought she might keep them.

So I have to ask, what is the point of a full body scan if I still get patted down in addition? I just hope some skeevy airport employee isn’t printing out scans for personal use. I’m still not sure how I feel about the experience.

I know some of my fellow travel bloggers have been outraged over the contraption, leading the opt-out movement. If you’re a business traveler without time to waste who isn’t shy, the full body scanner might not bother you. I’m not shy about my body, but it definitely made me uncomfortable.

So please, TSA, I beg of you. DELETE MY SCAN IMAGES. There are some things I don’t want people to see until they’ve at least taken me out to dinner.