I Was There

September 11, 2001. May 3, 2011. May 21, 2011.

One of these dates may have significance for you. Maybe even two.

On Saturday, May 21, I went to a lecture for the Sydney Writers’ Festival entitled, “9/11: I Was There.” I picked it mostly because one of my idols, Anthony Bourdain, was on the panel. In fact, I bought the tickets before the second date became important, the day Osama bin Laden was killed. I had a feeling it would change the direction of the panel.

Also on the panel were writers Michael Cunningham (The Hours), Emma Forrest, James Gleick, and moderator Lee Tulloch, who were all living in New York City at the time. It wasn’t meant to be depressing or political, just writers’ perspectives on the day that changed our history. Although there were moments of heated exchange, especially when one man went up to the microphone and said that America got what it deserved.

It’s been almost ten years since the first date I mentioned became significant. I was in Mrs. Flood’s homeroom class in 8th grade, watching the news unfold on television. I thought it was a tragic accident, not a calculated terrorist attack. A few years prior, I had my picture taken at the top of the World Trade Center.

Throughout the day, parents started picking up my classmates to spend time with family, even though we were in no danger in suburban Georgia. The next week, everyone was wearing shirts with American flags and “I Heart NY” emblazoned across them, telling stories of family members who saved people from burning buildings. The slogan became something to buy, something to brag about.

Anthony Bourdain, as well as many of us following the fateful events of that fall day, wondered, “Will anything be funny again?” I remember television shows, Friends in particular, editing out images of the Twin Towers as not to upset people.

One of my favorite songs, to this day, is Ryan Adams’ “New York New York.” The video (below) shows the singer jamming in front of the buildings, just a few days before they were erased from the skyline. And for this reason, the video wasn’t released until a month later.

One general consensus reached by the panel of writers was that there were two separate reactions to 9/11: one from New Yorkers and one from everybody else. The former was of unity and goodwill towards others, even their neighbors. The latter was one of revenge, of speaking on behalf of a city you may have never been to. They proclaimed, “We’re all New Yorkers.” It sounds like the same reactions following Osama bin Laden’s death.

Emma Forrest made an interesting point about how she felt that September. She had been in and out of the hospital for attempted suicide and an eating disorder. “Am I allowed to have problems?” she mused. “Doesn’t this make my problems obsolete?”

So how soon is too soon to write a book about September 11? A month? A year? A decade? The writers said practically every book that has touched on the event has been massacred by the critics. Two books that they recognized as successes, which just happen to be two of my favorites, are Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer and Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann.

What makes them successful? They don’t ramble on about how hard it was to recover from the tragedy, but instead let it take a back seat to the development of the story. And the fact that their authors are brilliant doesn’t hurt. I highly recommend them both.

On May 3, my boyfriend texted me “Osama bin Laden is dead.” I thought it was an odd joke, but sure enough, he had heard the news on the radio on his drive home. I quickly checked CNN and found out it was true. It was so bizarre, since I had all but forgotten about that name.

It’s been almost a decade since he celebrated the deaths of thousands of Americans. Since I had been living in Australia for the last few months, American news didn’t have as much of an impact on me as it used to. When I saw reports of people cheering in the streets in Washington DC and New York, it didn’t seem real.

In fact, it made me sick to my stomach. Don’t they know how this looks on the outside? This doesn’t change a thing. Al Qaeda still exists, as does thousands of other terrorist groups that would love to harm Americans.

If only we could go back ten years ago and change our fate. Maybe we wouldn’t be celebrating. The transformation of a national tragedy to Islamophobia was a truly terrible one. We started seeing all Muslims with the face of Osama bin Laden. We would shudder when we saw someone in a burqa or turban get on board a bus or plane. Maybe not all of us thought that way, but we are all responsible.

What’s changed after ten years? Maybe something, maybe nothing. We’ve proven we haven’t grown up, if last year’s Ground Zero mosque debacle says anything. We full body scan and pat down children at airports. We’ve blurred the lines between Islam and a group of fundamentalists. Between a terrorist attack and everyday travel. Between a piece of land where a tragedy occurred and hallowed ground. Between “weapons of mass destruction” and a war in Iraq. Let’s not repeat our mistakes.

On May 21, I realized how much I want to be a writer. Being in the presence of greatness and talking about great books is like a drug. I get high off of words. This post may not be cohesive or even about travel, but it’s about what inspires me. Good books, politics, music, memories of my childhood.

I’ve said I wanted to be many things “when I grow up”: ballerina, harpist, artist, diplomat and now writer. And things aren’t always easy. I take every comment personally. I need to thicken my skin. But this is it.