Something I’ve struggled with for as long as I’ve been traveling is having it all: both a close relationship with my friends and family and the thick skin required to travel the world solo. I find myself justifying my extended jaunts because “no one really notices when I’m not there” and that I’m not really missing much in the scheme of things. But it’s hard to be involved in the lives of those around you when you don’t know about all the little things going on.
I’ve met long term travelers who go months without calling home or who haven’t been home for Christmas in years. I can’t relate to that at all. Even when I lived in Australia, I called at least once a week, but usually more. I’ve always been close with my family, so it’s hard to not stay in touch with them. I always wonder how people do it, how they can travel for so long without seeing their families, but I know everyone isn’t as close as mine.
Many times the guilt prevents me from wanting to go, especially when I start thinking about what could happen. While in Australia, I missed one of my best friends’ engagement and wasn’t there to comfort another as she went through a breakup. I missed seeing my cousin before he went off to boot camp. I always worry that something will happen to a loved one while I’m away.
So the question is, can you have both roots and wings? Can you stay grounded and close with your family while also having a sense of adventure and desire to see the world? When I was living in Sydney, I had to seriously think about whether or not I could settle down this far away from home.
Would I want to be an aunt who only saw her nieces and nephews once per year if that? Would I be happy without my favorite Southern and Mexican restaurants? Could I see myself settling into the “no worries” lifestyle of Australia? I always knew deep down that I couldn’t, despite convincing myself otherwise.
For now, I’m trying to do it all, alternating between extended trips and months at home. I haven’t given home a chance since I moved back here in 2010, so it’s time I did. I’m planning on staying put for at least a year, so we’ll see how that goes.
I understand wholeheartedly. I talked to another expat/traveller about this recently and sometimes when you go back home you get the feeling that some people treat you like you never left or don’t want to know about your other life. Sometimes I wait until people ask how things are in my adopted home city as I am worried that they’ll get bored. I wouldn’t change my life just to comply with other people’s needs though. You only get one chance at this life.
Digital media has helped travellers keep in contact with so many social media and messaging platforms. It is not the same as being there physically, but it is a good alternative.
I think you can be a roots and wings person, for sure. Enjoy your extended stay at home. It will make you appreciate home comforts and the freedom that you have that you are able to decide to travel or not.
Thanks for the comment, Clare! Digital media has certainly changed the way I travel and it’s definitely easier to stay connected when I’m far away.