On Finding My Confidence

As an INFJ, I’ve never been someone who felt at home in the spotlight. When I was in high school theater, I always worked behind the scenes or in small roles. In leadership roles in college organizations, I did the same. So I guess it makes sense that I would start a blog where I can express my feelings and thoughts in written form.

I’m most comfortable behind the camera, not in front of it, which is why I don’t have many pictures of just me. I don’t post selfies and when someone takes my picture, I’m either cheesing with a fake smile or making a goofy face. One of my goals for the year (#15 on 27 Before 27) was to get new headshots taken and I finally did a few weeks ago.

For most of my life, I’ve felt relatively unsure in my own skin. I was never overweight, but I wasn’t confident in myself either. It wasn’t just about my looks, but rather a confidence with my personality.

Later on, someone I once loved was constantly criticizing me for the fact that I don’t wear makeup, my clothes, my eating habits, my driving and a number of other things. If it had been anyone else, I would tell them where they could stick their opinions, but after a while it started to wear on me. I believed the things he said.

But after nearly 27 years (!), I’m finally starting to be confident in who I am. And that person is someone who isn’t that into fashion, keeps things low-key and is awkward upon first meeting. I’m never going to be loud and outgoing, comfortable speaking in front of large groups (the next challenge!) or flaunting myself to strangers. And that’s okay.

Thanks so much to Brittany Wages Photography for making me feel comfortable, despite my initial awkwardness. I feel like these pictures reflect who I really am. I highly recommend her if you’re in the Atlanta area.