To Mountains for Solitude

Most of my friends or acquaintances wouldn’t see my fits of depression that hit me from time to time, preventing me from leaving the house or seeing outside of the black hole. Sometimes they are brought on by events while others seem random.

My most recent one came after a conflict with a friend and a particularly stressful work month. All I wanted was to stay in bed, but I’d agreed to go write about an inn in North Carolina many months back. A few days in the woods was far from what I wanted, but, as it turns out, exactly what I needed.

The Swag in Waynesville, North Carolina is tucked at the top of a mountain on the border of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It’s out of cell phone range and has WiFi, but is ideal for disconnecting. Apart from a bit of work I had to get done, I embraced this opportunity to clear my mind, staying away from negative thoughts and social media.

This year, I’ve learned what it is that helps me get out of these periods, starting with fresh air and exercise. It doesn’t fix everything, but certainly doesn’t hurt.

I arrived in the afternoon and immediately got comfortable in my room, putting on a robe and lounging with a cup of tea on the porch that overlooks the mountains, watching the clouds roll in. The room has a fireplace, sitting area, outdoor shower, and access to their library if I ran out of things to read. The Swag has dozens of places to sit in solitude dotted around the property, including a treehouse, a hammock, and wooden platforms in the woods.

Something that makes The Swag unique is that for the most part, meals are communal. This is an introvert‘s nightmare, as I previously experienced on cruise ships, but was something I grew fond of. During my first dinner, I sat next to the painting instructor and a couple who had honeymooned at the resort decades ago, returning every year.

In fact, the majority of the guests were older couples who come annually or were celebrating a special occasion. The culinary team is something out of a luxury resort, even adapting to my dietary restrictions. Over my dinner of trout, I talked to fellow guests about their favorite memories from this special place.

During the day, I spent most of my time completely alone, apart from the occasional cow I passed on the pastures that run alongside the trails. The entrance to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park is right next to the property so there are dozens of trails that run from it. 

I put in my headphones to pass the time, listening to stories on Monica Lewinsky, Marilyn Monroe, and the worst couples on television. It was a technique I picked up during my time on the Inca Trail, something that distracted me from the pain my legs were in, even as my earbuds tangled in my hair every time I wiped sweat from my face.

One day took me over seven miles round trip on the Cataloochee Divide Trail, which went to an 1800s cabin. I stopped for lunch at a shelter built by the former owners of The Swag and ate the sandwich and snacks that had been provided for me in a backpack.

I also had a walking stick that was mine for the trip, which I gripped tightly as I carefully made my way down hills. In my last mile back to the lodge, the skies opened up, drenching me, so I covered my camera with my rain jacket and tucked my headphones into my shirt.

On my final morning in the mountains, I immediately walked up to Hemphill Bald after breakfast, a gorgeous clearing (top photo) where you can see the ski resorts and a cattle farm. I sat and read my book for a while, enjoying the quiet. I couldn’t stay too long because there was one last event before I went home: the Wednesday picnic on Gooseberry Knob.

Another stunning clearing, guests enjoy a luxurious lunch complete with fried chicken, grilled sausages, salads, and a heaping table of desserts. It felt like the last day of camp as I said goodbye to the people from all over the country I’d befriended. We wrote down phone numbers and emails to keep in touch.

It’s easy to see photos and make assumptions about the “work” that I do, but depression doesn’t care where you are when it strikes. All you can do is take care of yourself exactly where you’re at. And I’m so glad The Swag was the place I was able to reset myself.

The Swag hosted my stay.